The Autism Question

I've really been struggling with the autism question lately. A few months ago, I was really concerned about Rachel. However, over the past couple of months, she's grown so much and is communicating with us pretty well that I just put the word, "autism" in the back of my mind. Yes, her food issues are classic autistic behaviors but her other behaviors just don't really seem to match up.

This past week, I got a phone call from our case worker. I have been lacking on my updates lately, but we've been having visits from Stephanie (the food therapist) and Mila (the behaviorist) for the last couple of weeks. Anyway, our case worker has received feedback from both Stephanie and Mila and they are still concerned that Rachel is somewhere on the autism spectrum. It frustrates me a lot, but at the same time, I agree with them......to an extent. They mostly only see Rach when they are playing and working with her about eating. This really stresses her out. What can I say.... She runs away from bread and totally freaks out if I present a food she's not comfortable with. I'm not even kidding. I wish I were kidding. Unless you have been here to witness these food issues or have a child who has these issues, I really can't even explain the difficulty it is to get her to eat. I just can't. Sometimes I feel so alone in this, but it is what it is and I'm just doing the best I can.

So back to the phone call. Our CW wanted me to do the M-CHAT test for Rachel. I hadn't heard of it before, but went ahead and answered the yes or no questions. Honestly, I was a little angry that I was being asked to do this. I went ahead with it basically to prove that she's NOT on the spectrum. Unfortunately, she failed 7 of the questions. Here is a copy of the test..... ( I got this by googling MCHAT and then copied it.)

1. Does your child enjoy being swung, bounced on your knee, etc.? Yes____ No____

2. Does your child take an interest in other children? Yes____ No____

3. Does your child like climbing on things, such as up stairs? Yes____ No____

4. Does your child enjoy playing peek-a-boo/hide-and-seek? Yes____ No____

5. Does your child ever pretend, for example, to talk on the phone or take care of dolls, or pretend other things? Yes____ No____

6. Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to ask for something? Yes____ No____

7. Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to indicate interest in something? Yes____ No____

8. Can your child play properly with small toys (e.g. cars or bricks) without just mouthing, fiddling, or dropping them? Yes____ No____

9. Does your child ever bring objects over to you (parent) to show you something? Yes____ No____

10. Does your child look you in the eye for more than a second or two? Yes____ No____

11. Does your child ever seem oversensitive to noise? (e.g., plugging ears) Yes____ No____

12. Does your child smile in response to your face or your smile? Yes____ No____

13. Does your child imitate you? (e.g., you make a face-will your child imitate it?) Yes____ No____

14. Does your child respond to his/her name when you call? Yes____ No____

15. If you point at a toy across the room, does your child look at it? Yes____ No____

16. Does your child walk? Yes____ No____

17. Does your child look at things you are looking at? Yes____ No____

18. Does your child make unusual finger movements near his/her face? Yes____ No____

19. Does your child try to attract your attention to his/her own activity? Yes____ No____

20. Have you ever wondered if your child is deaf? Yes____ No____

21. Does your child understand what people say? Yes____ No____

22. Does your child sometimes stare at nothing or wander with no purpose? Yes____ No____

23. Does your child look at your face to check your reaction when faced with something unfamiliar? Yes____ No____

Rachel missed questions 5, 6, 7, 11, 13, 19, 23.  I was told there is cause for concern if a child fails 3 of the questions. Hearing this broke my heart. I realize that if she is on the spectrum, she's very high functioning. Almost all of her behaviors, other than food, are totally normal. She may be delayed, but otherwise, she is just like any other kid. We actually call her "Sophia 2 months ago." It's our way of saying that she usually does exactly what Sophia does, just a couple of months later.....Other than the eating, of course.

I talked the results over with the girls' entire team of therapists, and we've all agreed that it's best to get her tested by a psychologist. I'm tired of the back and forth and the wondering if she's on the spectrum or not. Having her tested will just help us better determine the right path to take with the therapies she's receiving. Plus, in the last couple of days, I've noticed behaviors that would have had her passing questions 5 and 23. So I know we're only failing 5 questions. And some of those questions, Sophia wouldn't have passed a couple of months ago and now she totally does. I'm not in denial here. I know that Rachel's eating issues are cause for concern. I know there is the possibility she is on the spectrum. I still think she just has some serious texture issues and learned behaviors about food.

We have to wait until the end of May for the appointment with the psychologist. I'm going to try and put this issue aside until then. I need to keep focusing on all the positives!