Summer break

So much for my goal of posting every day in June. I totally forgot yesterday and didn't remember until almost midnight, and by that time, I was ready for sleepy town. Oh well....

We are officially on summer break for all of the girls' therapies. Well, with the exception of Rachel having the behaviorist come twice a week to work on her with her eating issues. Honestly, I'm ready to kick the whole food therapy thing to the curb. It doesn't have anything to do with whether or not I like her "eating therapy team." They are really great with her and truly have her best interest at heart. However, I just don't see progress. It's increasingly frustrating because she gets so upset and will not give in and try anything. I know she's hungry too. She seems like she wants to eat, but she just won't let herself do it. She just cries. It's awful to watch. I know we should continue the therapy (and we will), but it's just so.....um..I hate it. Also, we had cancelled her autism evaluation earlier this month. Our case worker came over for a meeting and saw Rachel. So between our case worker and the therapists that were here that day, we decided she is certainly not likely on the spectrum. But now the evaluation is going to be rescheduled because the food therapy team would like to at least rule out. I could really just use a break from it all.........I think Rachel could too.

So now that we're on a break from the majority of the therapies, I need to figure out how to fill our days. We're buying a membership to our local zoo, so I'm excited to spend a lot of time there with the girls. Now only if the weather would improve!

That's all I have for tonight. I'm boring......

Tornado warnings... Really?

We had some very unusual weather today. I should have taken some pictures of the dark clouds that were over our house. 

When we all went down for nap around 1pm.. (and I say "we" because I was sleeping too), it was just lightly raining. I woke up around 3:30 to some seriously loud thunder. Then my phone rang. It was my sister, who told me to get up and turn on the news. There was a tornado warning for our county and apparently a small tornado had touched down about 30-45 miles away. I know this seems like nothing for people who live in tornado alley, but this is northern CA. This doesn't happen here! 

I got the girls up and we all went downstairs. I looked out the window and saw clouds darker than I'd ever seen before. Well... okay, I've seen dark clouds like this before, but that was when I was in Nebraska and not my own home!

It was hard to hear the news reports over the girls. They kept asking for Barney or Elmo and Yo Gabba Gabba, but I wasn't about to change the channel. We don't have tornado sirens here. The news was my only link to what was going on. (Yes, I'm laughing at me too!) I wouldn't have been so freaked out if an actual tornado didn't touch down last week and destroy a barn/farmhouse not too far from here.  I started formulating a plan in my head as to what I would do if something actually touched down in our neighborhood. I decided that I'd tell the girls we were going to go wash our hands. They love washing their hands and pretty much run into the bathroom when I say "let's go wash our hands." The downstairs bathroom would have been the safest place for us to hide.

Thankfully, the storm passed after about 45 minutes. We had thunder so loud though, and it really scared Sophia and Rachel (and me too, a little). Morgan doesn't seem to mind loud noises, but the other two.... they just can't take it. They wouldn't move from where they were sitting on the couch. Poor girls! They did learn two new words today though... "hail" and "thunder." 

I finally ended up changing the channel to one of their shows. What better way to spend a rainy/stormy afternoon. I snapped this picture of Morgan and Sophia. Sophia is all curled up on the floor with a "kankett." That's her word for blanket.

I'm really thankful that the storm didn't actually create any tornadoes here. Still, those were some scary freaky looking clouds! I can't imagine what it's like living in an area where you have to worry about tornadoes. Ugh... 

As of now, the rain has passed and shouldn't be back at all tonight. I can sleep soundly.

Oh My! How they've grown!

Look how big my girls are getting! We've had some unseasonal chili weather lately. However, a couple of weeks ago, we had some really warm weather. So of course, we took advantage of it and brought the pool and water table out of the garage. The girls had a blast playing in the water. I'm sure this is just the beginning of all the Summer fun we'll be having this year. 

They are so tall!

Rachel was really excited!

This was the first picture that I've been able to get all three of them in for quite some time! I bought them some cute one peice jumpers and that day..... they pulled them out of the bag and wanted to wear them right away. I was being lazy and just put them on over their clothes. Can you tell they are watching tv? It was the only way to get them to sit still for the photo op!

I'm determined to teach them to sit still for the camera. Here we are "working on it." I kept saying, "sit down, sit down" and they would repeat it over and over. It was too cute. Morgan, however, didn't want to sit still for longer than 5 seconds! We're going to keep practicing! I want to get some pro pics done one of these days and want them to be camera ready!

I just can't believe that my babies are already 2 years and 4 months old. They are so tall! And their hair... wow, their hair is getting so long. My favorite part of their age right now is how much they are talking. Morgan, who was our quietest one, has suddenly started talking to us! Her thing right now is to walk between Bob and I and say, "Mommy" and then she goes to Bob and says, "Daddy." She does it over and over again and we just love it. Rachel's favorite thing to do is repeat things we say. (Yes, scary.. lol) The other day, she was saying "I fix it" all day because I had told her that morning that I'd fix something for her (it had to do with her diaper if you really want to know.. LOL). Sophia... wow.. Sophia is saying 4-5 word sentences and literally talks nonstop! 

In other news, Bob has been working on a game for Facebook for the past year. It's been both a blessing and a curse for our family. There were a lot of weekends where "Daddy was working" and evenings where he'd drive me crazy sitting in front of the computer all night. I'm very proud to say that the game will most likely launch tomorrow. There have been a few technical errors last minute, but it should launch very soon. I'm really proud of him and his business partner for finishing what they started a little more than a year ago!

Just .... wow!

For some reason, I've been neglecting my blog lately. I guess I've been too busy feeling great. LOL... I know, I know.. that is kinda silly to say. Since my surgery, I have never felt better. I am finally feeling physically good again. I had forgotten what it was like to be pain free. I think I got so used to always hurting and that is never a good thing. I finally have energy and don't feel so exhausted anymore. It's been a really awesome change.

So the girls have one more week of their therapies until we are on Summer break. I'm sad but also a little glad at the same time. Not sure how we are going to fill our days now but I'm also glad that we won't have set times of needing to be somewhere or needing the house and the girls to be ready for the therapists to come here. We're not totally off the hook though. Rachel will still have 2 visits per week from the behaviorist. She is still eating a few of the crunchy foods she picked up about a month ago. We haven't made much progress since then. It's a very slow process, but we're hanging in there.

I have a bunch of pictures on my camera that need uploaded and lots of news to share. Of course I am pressed for time at the moment. I have a new goal though..... In the month of June, I'm going to try and post something every day. Even if it is just a small quick tidbit of our day. My precious girls are growing and changing so fast that I need to document as much as I can.

Now let's just see if I can stick to that goal!

Long overdue...

I had my surgery on the 29th. It was a lot more difficult that I thought it would be. I thought I'd have a nice weekend of rest in bed. You know, I'd read a book, catch up on some movies, and just relax. HA! I guess I had forgotten that when you have surgery, they actually cut you open.

The good news is that the surgery stayed minor. I had 3 small abdominal incisions and that was it. The very surprising part of all this is that my doctor didn't find a trace of endometriosis. I have had previous surgeries and endo was always there. When I heard he didn't find anything, I felt like I had done the surgery for nothing. However, what he did find was a ton of scar tissue that was pulling my uterus and right ovary to the left. I've had pain on my right side almost every day for over a year. It always felt like my insides were being pulled on. In a sense, they actually were. There were spider web like scar tissue that attached those parts to the inside of my c-section incision. Crazy to think about. I didn't actually get to talk to my doctor after the surgery, but will be able to see the pictures and get more information at my post op appointment in early June. Bob got to see all the pictures and talk with my doctor.

Where was I? I was way too drugged out in pain. I basically woke up from the surgery moaning (and I'm told...kinda yelling) in pain. I remember feeling like my left side was on fire and it was throbbing. I woke up at around 1pm and we didn't go home until a few minutes after 4. I ended up spending the entire weekend on double doses of vicodin. It's all pretty much a blur since I slept almost the whole time. So much for watching movies. Bob worked from home for most of last week and we had a lot of help. My mom and sister were here a lot. My friend, Claudine, came over for a whole day to help out. She even gave the girls a bath for me. She's a triplet mom too, and it was obvious since bathing three 2 year olds didn't phase her one bit.  One of my friends even did our grocery shopping for us!  I'm so thankful for such awesome friends!

I'm actually feeling much better physically now than I have for the past 2 years. I no longer wake up at night or in the morning with abdominal pain. I don't randomly double over in pain if I move the wrong way anymore. I haven't even had to take motrin since a few days after the surgery. I used to take 4-8 motrin per day just to get through. I'm optimistic that I'll be pain free long term for the first time in a very long time!  Oh and yes, I did go through with getting my tubes tied. You know....due to the economy, the hotel is closed for business. hahahahaha.....

On a side note..... Rachel tried a couple of new foods the last week of April. Just after that happened, she surprised us again and ate 5 new crunchy foods in the same day. She's not eating all of those foods right now and is refusing 2 of them, but this is still a step in the right direction. Her feeding therapist has decided to take a step back and stop coming for about 4-6 weeks to give Rachel a chance to progress on her own without the stress of us making her touch foods she doesn't want to touch. We have an appointment with the behaviorist tomorrow morning. I'm going to discuss whether or not we should continue as well. I'm just not sure that stressing Rach out right now is the best idea for her. On one hand, I want to let her eat what she wants to eat. But on the other hand, I want her to eat a variety of foods for the nutrition of those foods. I'm very concerned that she doesn't get enough of the right stuff. Ugh, so frustrating. It's hard to explain how I feel about everything right now. It's kind of a "one day at a time" thing.

I keep telling myself that I will post more often. I took some super cute pictures of the girls last Friday when it was so hot that we let them play in their little pool. They had an absolute blast! I'll have to get those uploaded.

For now, as usual......... It is past my bed time!

Thankful

When I got home from my "mothers of multiples" meeting tonight (aka... fun MoM's night out), I crawled into bed exhausted and flipped on the tv.  Lifetime, and no I usually do not watch that channel, was showing a documentary on infertility. One of the women they were following was going through an IVF cycle. Watching her heartbreak and how badly she wanted a baby and to join the motherhood.........just broke my heart. I remember all too well what that feels like.

I'm so thankful that we have our sweet little girls. Even with our struggles, my heart is full. I can't imagine life any other way.

And I have some great news! I always offer Rachel the same foods I feed Sophia and Morgan. She always refuses, but tonight....she picked up some apple cinnamon crunchy straws and ate them! Then she asked for more. This is really huge for her. I know she may refuse it tomorrow and not try anything else new for a long time, but I'm counting this as progress.

I'm one lucky Mom!

How do you do it?

Other than, "Are they natural," "How do you do it," is the second most common question I get from most people. Lately, I've been wondering how the hell any of us moms of multiples do it. Seriously! To me, one baby would be hard, two babies would be even harder, and three is just insanity. I'm not even going to tell you how much I'd bow down to the quad or quint mom. Octomom though? Well, she can kiss my butt!

Here I go posting about the harder times again instead of all the fun stuff that goes on in our house. There are a lot of fun things right now. I laugh all day long. I really do. But lately, there have been a lot of tears as well. I've said before that we go through really tough periods and then fun and then it gets tough again. It seems to ebb and flow every couple of months. Right now.... is one of those harder periods.

Rachel is struggling with her eating and isn't really making much progress with the feeding therapy or the behaviorist.  She had a rough session this morning and ended up crying so hard that she puked. She just cannot handle food and I have no idea where this ever came from. It seems like it just came out of nowhere about a year ago. She's down to only eating yogurt if I dip the spoon into the yogurt and then into banana baby food. She will no longer eat cereal or let me mix cereal or pediasure into her yogurt. I'm the hunt for some sort of powder to mix into her milk. I'm also looking for a liquid childrens vitamin to mix into her juice. She's hardly eating at all. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to be losing any weight yet but I'm concerned she's going to. Because today's session went poorly, we're going to have another meeting about where to go from here. She's one of the toughest cases they've had on a child who isn't severely autistic. All of her food related behaviors are the same as children on the spectrum. We still have another month to go before she is "officially" evaluated. She's a harder case because she interacts very well and doesn't have a lot of the classic autism symptoms so they aren't sure which direction to go with her.

I'm having my surgery on Friday. I'm nervous about it. I'm mostly worried about the recovery and how soon I'll be able to lift the girls and take care of them on my own again. I actually have a lot of guilt about even doing this in the first place. I know I need to. I've been feeling pretty crappy for a long time. I know once I recover, I'll be a much healthier mommy for my girls! I just hope that the surgery stays minor and that my doctor doesn't need to do a hysterectomy at this point. There's more to it, but that's all I'm going to share with the internet.

I've been the membership chair person for my multiples group since July of last year. I've made the hard decision to stop volunteering for at least the next year. I'm going to finish the one year commitment that I made, but after that, I'm done. I'm really torn with this decision, but I know it's the right one. I just don't have the time or the energy that it takes to keep doing it. When I agreed to this position almost a year ago, I didn't anticipate everything that has happened in the past year. Shortly after I started, the tumor showed up on Rachel's ankle that we had biopsied and then that led to her surgery and another biopsy. We also got the news that the girls were several months delayed with their development and we started their 4 day a week therapy schedule. Bob's father passed away. I haven't been feeling well and am now having surgery myself. I'm tired just thinking about this stuff. I am still going to be a part of the group. I really do love the club. I am just going to be a regular member and resign from the board. My family comes first and the girls need all of me right now. I am really looking forward to the summer when I can relax and not have any outside responsibilities.

So yeah... I don't know how I'm doing it all right now, but at least I have all weekend in bed recovering to figure it out! :)