Feeding Therapy Friday

I've decided that I need to start posting a recap of Rachel's feeding therapy every week. It's such an emotional roller coaster, and I want to be able to go back and read about what her sessions are like each time. I think this will help me to see her progress more clearly. I tend to get really discouraged by the harder sessions, and I need to be able to see the bigger picture.

I could tell as soon as Rachel got into her chair that the session wasn't going to go well. She just wasn't into it at all. Well, the first indication was when she didn't want me to leave her. She goes into a room with Julie (her therapist)  alone and I go into another room where I can watch behind the two way mirror. She's usually happily goes into that room. This time, they were playing with round foods to start. Julie usually follows a theme with a color or shape of food. They talk about the texture and play with the food.

They started with one of Rachel's preferred foods, which is Gerber yogurt melts. She ate a couple of them and asked for more. Then she got frustrated that instead of getting more, she was offered a freeze dried banana. At first, I thought she might take a bite. She did eat freeze dried bananas briefly last summer. So instead of eating it, she threw it at Julie and said "no." This set the tone of how the rest of the session went. She wouldn't put anything in her mouth, and pretty much didn't even play with the food as usual. When handed any kind of food, she would crush it or tear it and toss it off of the table. Things are kept positive so she's not reprimanded for tossing the food. She is simply told "food stays on the table" and Julie puts it back on the table just out of Rachel's reach. Previously when Rachel would throw food, I would remove her from the situation. She learned that it was her escape. With this type of therapy, there is no escape. So basically, nothing really good came from this session. Julie does an amazing job handing Rachel though. She keeps her interest even when there is no cooperation.

It's okay though. It's hard to watch when she has a bad therapy day, but I've noticed lately that she tends to take two steps forward and then one step back. Last week's session went pretty well.  She ate regular bbq potato chips and has continued to eat them all week. She also licked a pretzel stick.

Here is a list of what she eats right now.

Animal crackers (but they must be the Costco crackers)
Gerber yogurt melts
BBQ Baked Lays
Gerber stage 3 Strawberry Banana baby food
Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists (I'm the crazy lady who goes to the Taco Bell drive thru and orders 5 bags of twists every few days.)

New food: regular BBQ Lays Potato chips
She is also slightly biting in to an apple. It started with red apples with the peelings still on. Now I will peel half of the apple and hand it to her. First she licked it, and now she is putting her teeth into it... not taking a bite, but thinking about it.
She also took a bite out of a Chips-Ahoy crunchy chocolate chip cookie this week. She spit it out, but at least she took a bite.

This is all progress. Sometimes I get really frustrated and feel like we're burning through one hundred dollar bills with this therapy, but she IS making progress. SOS therapy is specifically designed for kids like her. It's a slow process, but we're only about three months in. We were told this will take a year to overcome. For some reason with Rachel, I think it might take longer than that. But I am trying to keep the faith.

Until next week.......

Paro-what-tis???

For about a week, I've been having these weird random pains on my cheek right below my left ear. I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from my workout last weekend (where my trainer kicked my butt as usual) and my cheek was hurting. Without thinking about it too much, I rubbed where it hurt and felt a lump. I figured it was just a swollen gland or something. My stress level has been through the roof lately and I'm just feeling so exhausted. So I figured I just wore myself out. But I'm the type who goes to the doctor if I have any concern, no matter how small. (If you lost a sister at a young age, you would be like me too.)

My doctor told me it is Parotitis, which is a swollen or blocked salivary gland. This kind of random crap seems to happen to me. It's usually caused by a virus or bacterial infection. Well, all the girls were sick and I had a bit of what they had, so maybe that's why. Either that or I am just way too stressed out and my immune system is suffering because of it. Another reason people get parotitis is because of poor oral hygiene, and I simply do NOT have poor oral hygiene. Ever since my dentist told me that almost all of my tooth enamel was destroyed from puking so much during my pregnancy (I sometimes threw up 5 times a day and that lasted almost the whole pregnancy), I am beyond careful when it comes to my teeth. I brush twice a day with prescription toothpaste and floss not once, but sometimes two times a day! So yeah... Let's just be clear that it's not due to that! 

So I'm being treated with antibiotics. Heck, everyone in the house has been on antibiotics so now it's my turn. If it doesn't clear up in two weeks, I will be referred to a head and neck surgeon. When my doctor told me that, I actually started laughing. Like I don't have enough stress to deal with. Let's just throw this in for fun. She did make me feel better by saying that 90% of these cases clear up on their own. But if it doesn't, apparently my face could swell up. Bet that would be sexy......

I sent a text to a friend and told her about my diagnoses. She called me a freak of nature. I am starting to think she might be right! 

Pneumonia or something like it

Right after the girls' first week of preschool, they all got sick. It started with Rachel. She had a runny nose and a cough that got worse on Valentines day night. Then Sophia and Morgan had it the next day. I thought it was just a common cold, but a few days in, they all developed fevers. A few days later on Friday, Rachel wasn't herself at all. She was barely awake laying around. It suddenly dawned on me that this was the same way she acted last year when she was diagnosed with pneumonia. I was lucky to get her an appointment for that afternoon.

Just like last year, Dr. A didn't hear anything suspicious, but sent us for an x ray to be sure. She had some crud in both sides of her lungs. After a lengthy conversation with Dr. A, we decided to go ahead and try oral antibiotics. I was hopeful that we'd be able to slip the medicine into her milk or juice since forcing it in her mouth with a medicine dropper is not an option given her feeding issues. I was really upset when we got home and she immediately detected that her milk was um.... flavored. I should have known better. I tried putting it in juice. FAIL.. So I tried putting it in her strawberry banana baby food. Also a big fat FAIL. I knew that if we couldn't get the meds in her orally, we'd have to opt for several days of injections instead. I even ended up calling the advice line and got another doctor to prescribe a medication that apparently didn't have a flavor. Bob went to the pharmacy at around 10pm so we'd have it for her first thing in the morning. We had a back up plan and made an appointment at the weekend clinic for Saturday morning in case we needed to do the injections. I really just wish they made flavorless antibiotics though! Ugh!

That night, she wasn't doing so well. Her fever went up and she was breathing really fast. I ended up posting something on Facebook about how she was doing, and my awesome friend (who is also an ER doctor) ended up coming over to our house....at 11 at night... to check on Rachel and make sure we could wait until morning to take her in to start medication. I'm so lucky to have such a caring and wonderful friend! I am just thankful that she came over. I was able to calm down and not worry so much knowing that she'd be okay.

So of course we couldn't get the second medication in her either. She is very sensitive to any flavors being added to any of her drinks or food. Having recently spent almost one thousand dollars on her feeding therapy over the past few months (out of pocket), we were not about to force feed her anything. We know from experience that it would just set her back. She's come too far in her therapy and we're very much invested in her progress. I ended up taking her in to the weekend clinic to start injections. The pediatrician who treated her irritated the heck out of me. She tried to talk me out of doing shots and forcing Rachel to take the oral medication. She gave me advice about how to hold a child down and make them swallow medicine. It took me a while to make her understand that we can't do that as it could cause a long term food strike or ruin all of the therapy we've done. I sort of felt like crap for subjecting my child to several days of shots. Surprisingly, Rachel did really well with the shots.

On Sunday morning, Sophia woke up and was just about as out of it as Rachel had been the day before. So off to the weekend clinic we went. Sophia didn't even need an x-ray, the doctor could hear the crud in her lungs and sent us home with antibiotics too. When we got home, Morgan wasn't looking good. I ended up calling the clinic again, but they were then closed. So I spoke with an advice nurse and she sent us to the ER since Morgan's breathing was pretty fast.  Thankfully, my friend was working that day and kept me company during our visit. Morgan's x-ray didn't look too good either. I'm told it could have been pneumonia or just viral crud, so we were going to treat with antibiotics either way. Thankfully, Morgan and Sophia have no issues taking their medicine orally.

We ended up having to go to the doctor's office for 4 days in a row for Rachel's injections. With all three girls so sick, I hardly got any sleep at all. It was a really miserable week. I ended up getting a slight cold myself. I think we had some sort of flu. My mom was around us the whole time, and Morgan even coughed in her face on more than one occasion. She never got sick since she had a flu shot. I'm kicking myself for not doing flu shots this year. I usually always do them. With the girls' developmental delays and all the crap we've been through, I let it get in my head that a stupid flu shot or vaccines could be the cause of our issues. Ugh...  So I kept putting flu shots off. Even Bob got sick, it was just a few days after the girls were better.

I'm happy to say that the girls are all healthy again and went to school all this week. Rachel is doing really well in her class. I'm told she follows directions pretty well and is happy.  I've noticed some pretty good changes with her language over the past week too. She's using more words than she has before and is stringing two and three words together now, which is a very big step for her. Sophia and Morgan love their class too. They are working on taking turns and using words instead of screaming out of frustration. I love the girls' teachers and am comforted by how well things are going for them right now. It was a tough transition out of their therapy program.... well, it was tough for me. I think the girls had an easier time with it than I did. Although, I must admit that it has been nice not having people in and out of my house anymore. I don't have to worry about the house being put together or not.

I know it's just a matter of time before the next virus or cold hits our household. Preschool is a germ infested place....blah.........At least the girls will get some immunities built up before they start kindergarten.

(I'm too tired to proof read this......)

Preschool

 What a week we had last week. Rachel was supposed to start school on Monday but was getting over a cold we all had the week before. I ended up starting her on Tuesday. We originally thought that Morgan and Rachel would be in the same class, but that isn't the case afterall. More on that later.

So Rachel was excited to go to school. For the past couple of months, I had been calling their sensory motor gym class and toddler talk class school (that was part of their therapy program). This time, I told her it was a new school and that Sophia and Morgan were going to stay home with Grandma. Then I said Mommy will say bye bye and come back later to get you. I thought she'd be scared or upset when I dropped her off. She happily surprised me. She did great. She walked into her new classroom and just started playing with the toys. When I left, she just looked at me and then went back to playing. I'm told there were no tears.... on her part. As for me, I cried like a baby. I couldn't believe I was leaving my little baby at school all by herself with brand new teachers and therapists that she didn't know. This is such a big adjustment for us.

She did great. I'm told she is enjoying herself and is generally happy there. The second day when I was getting her ready to go, she got excited and said "friends" and "backpack" because she knew she needed her backpack. Here's a picture of her that I snapped before we left the house the first day.

Rachel is in school four days a week for about three hours per day. Sophia and Morgan ended up being placed in a less intensive speech program together. They are going two days a week and their little class is only an hour and a half. Thankfully, the girls are all in school at the same time for those two days so I get a little break. 

Sophia and Morgan were super excited to go to their class. They looked so darn cute walking through the elementary school with their little backpacks on. I need to get a picture of them next week. Right now, their language skills have improved so much so they can actually have conversations with us now. I know for most people, it's normal to have conversations with your three year old, but we've taken just a bit longer to get to where we are. I'm so proud of my girls. So they understood that they were going to school and that I wasn't staying. When I left, they said "bye bye" to me and were just fine. When I went to pick them up, Sophia didn't want to leave. The next day, she talked about school non stop and begged to go back. I'm really happy that they like it. 

Here's a pic of Rachel and Sophia in the truck all ready for Sophia's first day. (This was Rachel's second day in her program.)

Here is Morgan all ready for her first day!

It's so hard to believe that my babies are three years old and are preschoolers. I'm not ready for this! I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!!!!

Their new schedule just about wore me out last week. Naps are a thing of the past.  My girls are on the go now so this mama has to keep up! There isnt' much time between their drop off and pick up times. It's go go go until Rachel's bell rings. They are at two different schools. At least both schools are close to our house and close to each other. I can't imagine it working if they weren't. 

I'm so thankful that they all qualified and are still getting the help they need. We've had our ups and downs with all these therapies, assessments, and such. Some days I feel like my head is going to spin right off. But we are very blessed that we live in a county that has an amazing "first 5" program for the kids who really need it. 

Happy Birthday to our precious daughters!

Three years ago, at this very moment, I was in the hospital with Morgan in my arms for the very first time. She was released from the NICU just hours after her birth. I remember looking into her precious little eyes and crying tears of joy.  I was too weak from the c-section to be able to go down to the NICU to see Sophia and Rachel. I didn't get to see Sophia until around 6:30am the following morning when she was out of the NICU. I would finally get to touch Rachel that night at around 8:30pm. I didn't get to hold her yet because she was so small, but I got to touch her precious head. I remembering feeling the most overwhelming feeling of love for my girls. It's true that you really don't know how strong a mother's love is until you become one. 

It's hard to believe three years have passed. Our girls are our everything. We are so blessed to be their parents. Rachel is such a silly little girl. She is going through a phase of making the funniest little faces. She does this super cute thing where she looks at you kind of from the side of her eyes. She loves to laugh and play around with us. Sophia is using full sentences now, and we can have little conversations with her. She loves to play with Little People toys and has a favorite little doll. Morgan has blossomed so much in the past month. She's talking to me, asking for things that she wants, and her eye contact has improved. Her favorite toys right now are Wonder Pets stuffed animals. She carries them around with her all day long. 

My girls are three years old. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was staying up all night feeding each one of them, one after another. Those nights are still so vivid in my memory. I remember holding them in my arms when they were all less than 5 pounds. Now I can't even call them toddlers anymore. 

Our babies have blossomed into preschoolers. I just don't know where the time went!

Happy Birthday sweet girls. Mommy loves you more than you'll ever know!

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman. Or Super Woman...... Well, in this case, I'm SuperMoM! My "mothers of multiples" group nominated me to be January's SuperMoM. Each month, our club nominates someone who has been going above and beyond for their own family, or another family, or both. I was so surprised and honored. Plus total bonus...I got to wear a pink cape!

Over the past couple of months, the club (and all my amazing MoM friends) have been so supportive of what we have been going through with the girls, especially Rachel's feeding issues. I get so many texts and phone calls asking about how the therapy is going and if they can help me in any way. They all know that my emotions are all over the place and that I have been so overwhelmed lately. Between the girls' psych evaluations, Morgan's PDD-NOS diagnoses, Rachel's new feeding therapy, and their upcoming transfer out of the infant program and into the school system..... well... gosh, it's just been a lot to handle. To be recognized for having "super mommy powers," was just so meaningful to me. 

 I'm so blessed to be a part of such a wonderful group of women! 

Yeah.... I don't know what this is.

I had a chai tea latte tonight at almost 8pm. Not a good idea since I'm much too awake for this hour of the night.

I've been really bitchy the last several days.

My trainer has been completely kicking my ass Biggest Loser style and it's really not fun at all.

I've lost 46 pounds now so that's something to be proud of. But I am still really irritable over all the tough work outs.

Makes me wish I could just do Zumba to get these last 20 or so pounds off.

But I know that's not enough if I want this weight off like... yesterday.

I can't believe my girls are going to be three in less than three weeks.

Their birthday party is the 28th and I still don't have a theme.

But I don't really think that matters. They won't care anyway.

Sophia is currently obsessed with singing the Happy Birthday song and she talks about birthday cake constantly.

I think she got it from an episode of Super Why.

All three girls are singing their ABC's. They are just the cutest!

I need to get rid of this inner grump that I have been lately.

Bob has been working so much and I think it's making me crazy. But his work is really busy right now and he also has a side contract he's doing.

We're supposed to go on a two night get-away to Monterey soon though. I'm really looking forward to getting away and spending time with the hubby. It's been way too long since we've had time away together.

We need it.

The girls start preschool in three weeks. They all qualified for the school district's program. Morgan and Rachel will be in the same class at one school. Sophia will be at another school.

We're going to be really busy. I'm going to feel like a taxi driver.

I will have 90 minutes of kid free time two times a week with this new schedule.

I'm looking forward to at least having some one on one time with Sophia while Rachel and Morgan are in their class.

I have a lot of gray hair.

I can't imagine why!!!

Okay, this weird rant is over.