I can't even begin to express with words how thankful I am that Rachel does not have autism. She also does not have PDD-NOS or any other type of PDD. She does have sensory processing disorder as well as auditory issues and language delays. These are all things that can be treated through the therapy she is already receiving.
For the first time in over a year, I am feeling free of the stress and worry that I had for her. It's been a long road with my precious Rachel. Last year at this time, we were going through worry from the tumor on her ankle. There were several months of waiting and thinking about biopsy results. At the same time, she was being seen by several therapists that were all concerned because she shows signs of autism. The question was always there even though a lot of her characteristics and behaviors were unlike those of children with autism. But then of course, some of her characteristics were in line with them. I'm so glad that the question has finally been answered once and for all. Now we can focus on the sensory, auditory, and language issues.
Knowing that Rachel was not diagnosed takes away the majority of concern that I had for Sophia and Morgan. The psychologist and the girls' therapy team still want them to undergo the same testing. They will likely not be diagnosed, but just by doing this testing, it will help us to better understand the areas we need to work on. Their appointments are next week.
I am really proud of Rachel for doing so well. Her evaluation lasted just about 3 hours. She didn't have any meltdowns or tantrums. She was such a good girl, plus she had a room full of toys all to herself. About 2 hours in, she did say... "A truck, cars, home." That meant she wanted to go home in Daddy's truck.
One of the main reasons several of the therapists thought she could have autism or PDD-NOS is because of her eating issues. Dr. M explained that children with the same sensory processing disorder have issues with food and all of the different textures. Some of these children are even mis-diagnosed with autism because their symptoms are alike. The good news is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When Rachel's language skills improve, we will be able to talk about foods and even let her help choose what she would like to try. We're told it's not going to be an easy battle, but that she will improve with time.
I am very relieved and it really feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest. I feel like now that we know what she is dealing with, we will be able to help her now and make some good progress.
When we left the psychologist's office, I had a good cry. It was definitely much needed relief for my baby girl who has been through enough in her almost 3 years! I look forward to watching her blossom when she starts school in February!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Ready or not....
In a few days, we start the process of the girls' pysch evaluations to determine if they are on the autism spectrum, have aspergers, PDD-NOS, or any other diagnoses to try and find out what, if anything, is causing their developmental and speech delays.
Rachel has the first appointment on Wednesday. Needless to say, my stomach is in knots and I have a lot of anxiety about it. I know this isn't going to change who she is or change our life right now. If anything, I think some sort of diagnoses would only help us to her her. I just can't even describe the sense of overwhelming feelings I am having about this.
It's not just Rachel that I have anxiety about. It's all three. They are my babies. Dealing with the fact that one or all of them could be labeled as "special needs," is heart breaking. I know things could be worse, so I am of course incredibly thankful for their health. But I just want the best for my girls as all mothers would. I don't want them to struggle.
I had a meeting last week with two of the girls' therapists. They know how stressed out I am over the testing and were discussing what to expect as well as how to navigate the girls' upcoming IEP meeting with the school district. This meeting made me realize what an awesome team we have fighting for our girls. Both of the girls' OT's have offered to keep in contact with me after the girls turn three and will no longer be in their program. They want to be there for us to offer advice or just a comforting ear. I am so thankful for them. I know we aren't alone in this.
They also referred me to a local support network for parents of children with special needs. I've already made friends with one of the mom's (Kathy) in the girls' play gym class who is a member of the network. I'm going to attend one of their get togethers so I can connect with some other local moms going through some of the same things we are. My multiples club has been such a great support to me so I know a similar group for parents of children like mine will be helpful. We've already had a couple of play dates with Kathy and her son, and it's been just what I've needed to feel a sense of normalcy. I know I've said that it's hard not to compare the girls to other toddlers their age, but I always do. On these recent play dates, I found myself so relaxed and happy hanging out with another mom who totally "gets it" with what we are going through. She and her son are going through the same thing. Both of us mentioned that it felt good not to have to see "normal developing toddlers the same age" and be comparing them the whole time to ours that are somewhat behind. In fact, Rachel will be in the same preschool program as Kathy's son since we are practically neighbors. I'm glad to have met her.
Sophia and Morgan's appointments are next week. I'm getting myself mentally prepared for whatever news comes our way. I'm going to do my best to remain optimistic.
However, if I eat lots of brownies this week........... um..... I can't be held accountable for it!
Rachel has the first appointment on Wednesday. Needless to say, my stomach is in knots and I have a lot of anxiety about it. I know this isn't going to change who she is or change our life right now. If anything, I think some sort of diagnoses would only help us to her her. I just can't even describe the sense of overwhelming feelings I am having about this.
It's not just Rachel that I have anxiety about. It's all three. They are my babies. Dealing with the fact that one or all of them could be labeled as "special needs," is heart breaking. I know things could be worse, so I am of course incredibly thankful for their health. But I just want the best for my girls as all mothers would. I don't want them to struggle.
I had a meeting last week with two of the girls' therapists. They know how stressed out I am over the testing and were discussing what to expect as well as how to navigate the girls' upcoming IEP meeting with the school district. This meeting made me realize what an awesome team we have fighting for our girls. Both of the girls' OT's have offered to keep in contact with me after the girls turn three and will no longer be in their program. They want to be there for us to offer advice or just a comforting ear. I am so thankful for them. I know we aren't alone in this.
They also referred me to a local support network for parents of children with special needs. I've already made friends with one of the mom's (Kathy) in the girls' play gym class who is a member of the network. I'm going to attend one of their get togethers so I can connect with some other local moms going through some of the same things we are. My multiples club has been such a great support to me so I know a similar group for parents of children like mine will be helpful. We've already had a couple of play dates with Kathy and her son, and it's been just what I've needed to feel a sense of normalcy. I know I've said that it's hard not to compare the girls to other toddlers their age, but I always do. On these recent play dates, I found myself so relaxed and happy hanging out with another mom who totally "gets it" with what we are going through. She and her son are going through the same thing. Both of us mentioned that it felt good not to have to see "normal developing toddlers the same age" and be comparing them the whole time to ours that are somewhat behind. In fact, Rachel will be in the same preschool program as Kathy's son since we are practically neighbors. I'm glad to have met her.
Sophia and Morgan's appointments are next week. I'm getting myself mentally prepared for whatever news comes our way. I'm going to do my best to remain optimistic.
However, if I eat lots of brownies this week........... um..... I can't be held accountable for it!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Preschool already? Yikes!
A couple of days ago, we had the girls' transition meeting with the school district. When they turn three, they are no longer eligible for the infant early intervention program. At that point, if they still need services, the school district takes over. I'm really thankful that they are eligible for either a preschool program and/or speech therapy services.
I've been a little emotional over the results of their assessments. I received copies of the reports, and even though I always prepare myself, it's never easy to see that your children have significant delays. Their perceptual/fine motor and cognition skills have improved and they are only about six months delayed in those areas. So that was good news (compared to last year).
It's the language skills area that we have the significant delays in. For "gestures and play," and their receptive and expressive language, Rachel "masters skills" at the 9-12 month level with scattered skills to the 24 month range. Morgan "masters skills" in the 15-18 month range with scattered skills to the 24 month range. Sophia "masters skills" in the 18-21 month range but also has scattered skills up to 30 months. Although, I think if retested now, Sophia would score much higher. Her speech and ability to understand has improved so much. It's a huge difference from where she was just one month ago when their assessments were completed.
Based on the assessments now, the school district determines what programs they would qualify for if the decision had to be made today. This is just something they go over with the parents to give them an idea of what is available. The final decision on placement isn't done until they turn 3. So based on what we know right now, Rachel will most likely be in a preschool program that is Monday-Thursday in the afternoons for two hours. Morgan is borderline and could either do the same program as Rachel or a two day a week speech program in a preschool setting. Sophia will likely not need to be in the preschool program and will just need speech therapy once or twice a week. I'm kind of stressed out over them possibly being in three different programs. My hope is that either Sophia and Morgan would be in the same program or that Morgan and Rachel will. We know Sophia won't be in Rachel's class. I asked them if they ever take into consideration that they are triplets and I can't be running them all over town like that. They said they each have their own IEP and their own goals so it's important to work it out. So if they need different programs, there isn't anything I can really change about it. I know it's best for them so I'm not going to cause a stink over it. I'll work it out if/when I need to.
If Sophia isn't in a preschool program and just needs speech therapy, then Bob and I will find her a preschool to go to when she is 3 1/2. She will need something structured since if she doesn't qualify for the school district's program, it will be by just a hair. So it's important that she still be in some sort of program so she can keep moving forward. Oh and did I mention that the school district's preschool is just like public school so it's not going to cost us anything other than our taxes.
Just processing all of this information has been overwhelming. I was a little irked by the representative from the school district. She had to tell me, more than once, that this is the first set of triplets she's had where all three of them were in early intervention services. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I know she didn't mean any harm by it, but I have a hard enough time with this situation. I didn't need that pointed out to me.
It will be interesting to see where they are placed. Of course all of this depends on their psych evaluations that will test for autism. I don't think any of them are on the spectrum, but I've also learned to never say never. I've been reading the book, "Just Take a Bite." It's a guide for parents of children who have severe food issues or aversions. The book is basically describing Rachel. Unfortunately, the book focuses on children with autism, aspergers, or PDD-NOS. So there are a lot of things about Rachel that points to being on the spectrum, but then there are also a lot of things that are opposite from it. All three girls show some signs, and that is why we are doing the testing. We need a final answer on it.
Don't get me wrong. I am very happy that they are going to receive continued services. I know it's best for them. I'm nervous about leaving them in a new classroom that they are unfamiliar with. They've never been anywhere without me. They will also possibly be separated. Morgan doesn't like to be separated from the pack. She's so sweet and always makes sure all "babies" are accounted for. Our OT suggested to start to practice leaving them at my mom's or a friend's house. We'll start there and work up to leaving them one at a time. It'll probably be harder on me than it is for them.
I can't believe that in just four short months, my girls will be three years old and possibly in preschool. I'm just not ready for that. In my eyes, they are still my little babies!
I've been a little emotional over the results of their assessments. I received copies of the reports, and even though I always prepare myself, it's never easy to see that your children have significant delays. Their perceptual/fine motor and cognition skills have improved and they are only about six months delayed in those areas. So that was good news (compared to last year).
It's the language skills area that we have the significant delays in. For "gestures and play," and their receptive and expressive language, Rachel "masters skills" at the 9-12 month level with scattered skills to the 24 month range. Morgan "masters skills" in the 15-18 month range with scattered skills to the 24 month range. Sophia "masters skills" in the 18-21 month range but also has scattered skills up to 30 months. Although, I think if retested now, Sophia would score much higher. Her speech and ability to understand has improved so much. It's a huge difference from where she was just one month ago when their assessments were completed.
Based on the assessments now, the school district determines what programs they would qualify for if the decision had to be made today. This is just something they go over with the parents to give them an idea of what is available. The final decision on placement isn't done until they turn 3. So based on what we know right now, Rachel will most likely be in a preschool program that is Monday-Thursday in the afternoons for two hours. Morgan is borderline and could either do the same program as Rachel or a two day a week speech program in a preschool setting. Sophia will likely not need to be in the preschool program and will just need speech therapy once or twice a week. I'm kind of stressed out over them possibly being in three different programs. My hope is that either Sophia and Morgan would be in the same program or that Morgan and Rachel will. We know Sophia won't be in Rachel's class. I asked them if they ever take into consideration that they are triplets and I can't be running them all over town like that. They said they each have their own IEP and their own goals so it's important to work it out. So if they need different programs, there isn't anything I can really change about it. I know it's best for them so I'm not going to cause a stink over it. I'll work it out if/when I need to.
If Sophia isn't in a preschool program and just needs speech therapy, then Bob and I will find her a preschool to go to when she is 3 1/2. She will need something structured since if she doesn't qualify for the school district's program, it will be by just a hair. So it's important that she still be in some sort of program so she can keep moving forward. Oh and did I mention that the school district's preschool is just like public school so it's not going to cost us anything other than our taxes.
Just processing all of this information has been overwhelming. I was a little irked by the representative from the school district. She had to tell me, more than once, that this is the first set of triplets she's had where all three of them were in early intervention services. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I know she didn't mean any harm by it, but I have a hard enough time with this situation. I didn't need that pointed out to me.
It will be interesting to see where they are placed. Of course all of this depends on their psych evaluations that will test for autism. I don't think any of them are on the spectrum, but I've also learned to never say never. I've been reading the book, "Just Take a Bite." It's a guide for parents of children who have severe food issues or aversions. The book is basically describing Rachel. Unfortunately, the book focuses on children with autism, aspergers, or PDD-NOS. So there are a lot of things about Rachel that points to being on the spectrum, but then there are also a lot of things that are opposite from it. All three girls show some signs, and that is why we are doing the testing. We need a final answer on it.
Don't get me wrong. I am very happy that they are going to receive continued services. I know it's best for them. I'm nervous about leaving them in a new classroom that they are unfamiliar with. They've never been anywhere without me. They will also possibly be separated. Morgan doesn't like to be separated from the pack. She's so sweet and always makes sure all "babies" are accounted for. Our OT suggested to start to practice leaving them at my mom's or a friend's house. We'll start there and work up to leaving them one at a time. It'll probably be harder on me than it is for them.
I can't believe that in just four short months, my girls will be three years old and possibly in preschool. I'm just not ready for that. In my eyes, they are still my little babies!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
5K
A couple of months ago, I decided I wanted to try another 5K. I hadn't completed an official 5K since 2005. I don't know what has hit me over the past several months. I have been so focused on getting my body back to healthy and fit. It's become very important to me. I am not only doing this for myself, but I'm doing it for my daughters. I want to be healthy for them.
So I asked my running buddy, Claudine, if she wanted to do this race with me. She has been running for months (completing her first 5K earlier this summer), so I knew she'd be up for it. We found a race that was fundraising for a local autism research center. I jumped at the chance to participate.
Most of my running has been on the treadmill. I was only able to get out and do a couple of practice runs with Claudine before the big race today. I wasn't sure how well I'd do since hitting the pavement is a lot different than treadmill running. I usually treadmill run 2-3 miles at least 3 times during the weekdays, and then I do 3-4 miles on Saturdays and Sundays. So I knew I'd at least have the stamina needed.
Here we are before the race started.
So I asked my running buddy, Claudine, if she wanted to do this race with me. She has been running for months (completing her first 5K earlier this summer), so I knew she'd be up for it. We found a race that was fundraising for a local autism research center. I jumped at the chance to participate.
Most of my running has been on the treadmill. I was only able to get out and do a couple of practice runs with Claudine before the big race today. I wasn't sure how well I'd do since hitting the pavement is a lot different than treadmill running. I usually treadmill run 2-3 miles at least 3 times during the weekdays, and then I do 3-4 miles on Saturdays and Sundays. So I knew I'd at least have the stamina needed.
Here we are before the race started.
We ran together for probably the first half mile. Claudine is such a good friend. My pace was just a little slower than hers so I had to talk her into leaving me in her dust. I knew she wanted to go for a personal best. I did too, but I knew I'd be holding her back since she is more of an outside runner than I am. For some reason, the first mile was the hardest for me. Once I hit that one mile marker, I stepped up my pace and felt like I was in a good groove. There were a couple of hills that I wanted to walk instead of run, but I forced myself to keep running. I wanted to be able to say I ran the whole time!
I finally hit the 3 mile marker and couldn't believe that the finish line was UP A HILL! I felt like I had nothing left, but I found my inner runner and sprinted to the finish line!
Claudine had finished almost 2 minutes ahead of me so she and her hubby snapped a pic for me at the end of my race. I pretty much thought I was going to pass out at this point but I was just so proud that I had made it!
Here's our "sweaty pic" after we tried to cool down a bit.
Claudine was really proud of her banana hahaha........
I'm just so darn proud for doing this. I also made a personal best on my time and ran it in 33:25 minutes. That even beats my 5K times back when I ran a few races in 2004 and 2005. I've worked really hard to lose a lot of weight, so just completing this run today felt great. It's hard to believe that just 4 and half months ago, I was almost 40 pounds heavier and could barely walk around the grocery store without getting winded. Go me!
I'm already planning my next run. Can't wait to do this again very soon!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thankful
Today was a good day for our family.
I took the girls up to my dad's house until nap time so that Bob could have some kid free quiet time at home.
They love it up there and had a great time!
In the afternoon, I got to go to the gym for almost 2 hours (got a long run in and did weight training - it felt great!) then came home and took a nice long hot bath while reading my favorite magazine.
It was my turn for some quiet time.
Then I had dinner with some of my closest girlfriends.
Without them, I'd be total mommy goo and would likely develop an alcohol problem.
Seriously, this Mommy business is hard stuff.
I'm so thankful that I have such wonderful friends who totally "get it."
They were just what I needed tonight.
This Mommy is refreshed and ready to take on the week!
I took the girls up to my dad's house until nap time so that Bob could have some kid free quiet time at home.
They love it up there and had a great time!
In the afternoon, I got to go to the gym for almost 2 hours (got a long run in and did weight training - it felt great!) then came home and took a nice long hot bath while reading my favorite magazine.
It was my turn for some quiet time.
Then I had dinner with some of my closest girlfriends.
Without them, I'd be total mommy goo and would likely develop an alcohol problem.
Seriously, this Mommy business is hard stuff.
I'm so thankful that I have such wonderful friends who totally "get it."
They were just what I needed tonight.
This Mommy is refreshed and ready to take on the week!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Lately
Even though Summer doesn't officially end for another couple of weeks, we are already into the swing of our new Fall schedule. I was able to scale back the girls' therapy sessions to just two days a week. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are very busy days for us, but the girls are thriving with their new routine. I'm enjoying the balance that we have now with our days.
My 12 weeks with my personal trainer ended 3 weeks ago and I am already feeling myself slacking off a little bit. Ugh! I did great for the first couple of weeks. I joined Crunch Fitness and was going 4-5 days a week until this past week when I wasn't feeling very well. I'm all better now so the plan is to get my act together and drag my butt to work out tomorrow. I'm signed up for a 5K run with my friend Claudine next weekend that benefits a local autism research center. I'm excited to run this. I haven't "officially" done a 5K since 2005. I'd really like to do a 10K in November. I'm going to work towards it and really give it my all. I think I'm getting to a place where I enjoy working out. I've been inactive for the last week (was sick) and I am feeling so lazy. I miss how good I feel after a work out. It's also nice to have some "me time" after Bob gets home from work. I usually cook dinner for him and the girls, feed them, and then head out for my work out. It gives me enough time to exercise before I'm too late at night when I'm tired. Then I can still be home for the girls' bath and bed time routine.
I do plan on purchasing more sessions with my trainer, just can't do it for another couple of weeks. At first, I felt really guilty about paying someone to help me work out. However, this has been the only thing that has motivated me and I've learned how to challenge myself. A trainer makes you do things that you think you can't do, which in turn, makes you feel like... well, SuperWoman! I'm only ten pounds away from where I was the day I got married, and I'd like to lose another 20-25 pounds on top of that. I want to be the mom on the playground who is running around chasing her kids without getting easily worn out. And...I'd like my butt to actually fit on the playground equipment or the kiddy rides in amusement parks. I just want to look and feel healthy again. It's been a long time.
We finally found a new home for Bob's mother to live in. It's crazy that during the "housing slump," homes have literally been flying off the market. I think we put offers in on 5 or 6 houses before we actually got one. We should be closing escrow next week. I'm really happy that she will be living so much closer to us. I think it will be good for everyone.
Sophia said the cutest thing the other day. The girls' therapists were leaving our house and they always say "good-bye friends," and the girls will sometimes say it back. This time, Sophia kept saying "good-bye friends" and then she looked all sad and said it again. A few minutes after they were out the door, she came up to me with a look of hope on her face and said, "need some more friends too?" She was so proud of herself for asking to have her needs met. It was the sweetest thing ever and I loved the precious look in her eyes. Sadly, I had to tell her that they weren't coming back until the next week. She did okay. I distracted by reading her a book.
We had a fun play date with our triplet boyfriends this morning. My friend Deana and I have decided to have weekly play dates and rotate whose house it is at. We've been doing this for three weeks now and it's a lot of fun. Her boys are 7 months younger than the girls. I have to admit that it's been hard for me to do play dates, and I had pretty much been avoiding them for months. It's difficult to see the developmental differences that the girls have. I was really dwelling on it. But you know what.... Sometimes you just gotta get over it. Plus, the girls love their little boyfriends! We've already arranged their marriages so don't be trying to cut in people!
Oh speaking of Deana.... I had my very first pedicure today. I know! I'm 35 years old and I had never had one before. I am stubborn. I don't like to pay for something I can do myself. D talked me into going with her, and I gotta say, it was awesome! Best 60 minutes of pampering ever. I think I might be hooked now.
A few days ago, I was reading an online friend's blog. (You know, someone I have never met in person hahaha... don't we all have a few of those kinds of friends online?) She posted a link to a friendship blog by the author Irene Levine, who wrote a book called, "Best Friends Forever." It's a book about dealing with the loss of a female friendship or your best friend. Last year, I wrote about losing an old long time friend. This blog has been so intriguing to me and I've been reading it, as well as excerpts from the book, as much as possible lately. It's been nice to see that I'm not the only one who has gone through this. I mean, almost four years later, I'm not over it completely. I have moments of sadness where I really miss my old friend. I wonder what she is doing or if she misses me at all. I can't change the past nor can I do anything about what has happened (I've tried.). I'm not the same person that I was before I became pregnant and had my girls. Motherhood changes you. The loss of a friendship changes you. I've learned what it is to be a good friend and how to cherish those relationships. I am so thankful and feel blessed for the friendships that I've built over the past few years. I will never take anything like that for granted again. I'm in a good place.
Okay, I'm getting a little deep for as late at night as it is. So until next time, this mama is signing off.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
You're Gonna Miss This
The girls and I were dancing today while listening to the radio. They love their Barney and Wiggles cd's, but today I had it on the country music station. We were getting down doing the honky tonk and then the song, "You're Gonna Miss This," by Trace Adkins came on.
I was holding Morgan in my arms and swaying back and forth with her dancing. We were both loving it and she was eating all the attention up.
As I was listening to the lyrics, I looked around the room at my beautiful girls dancing and was brought to tears. They are amazing and just so precious. I am so blessed.
This song touched my heart so much, especially the chorus.
I was holding Morgan in my arms and swaying back and forth with her dancing. We were both loving it and she was eating all the attention up.
As I was listening to the lyrics, I looked around the room at my beautiful girls dancing and was brought to tears. They are amazing and just so precious. I am so blessed.
This song touched my heart so much, especially the chorus.
You're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
I've been having a rough time lately with the girls' therapies and assesments. Things have not been easy. I've been so wrapped up in what we are going through and what they are not doing......when I should be focusing on how far they've come and what amazing things they are doing right now. We are having all three of them evaluated for autism, aspergers, and PDD in October. It doesn't mean they have any of these, it's just something we need to have done for when their services are transferred to the school district. My stomach has been in knots about it all. But the fact is, the outcome of these tests will not change our family. They will not change who my girls are, and they will not change our life right now. Everything is going to be okay.
And I will miss this time one day.
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