The results are in

I'm happy to report that Rachel's biopsy was BENIGN. I'm so relieved.

However, the diagnoses is a little confusing. The reason it took so long for the results to come in was because Kaiser had to send it down to UCLA because the pathologist here wasn't sure of the diagnoses. UCLA diagnosed it as a Spitz Nevus. This is almost always a benign growth. The bad thing about it is that they always grow back unless they are totally and completely 100% removed.

In order to remove it completely and make sure all of the Spitz Nevus tissues are removed, Rachel would have to undergo a more invasive surgery. This time, they'll have to knock her out to do it. I feel very unsettled about having my 23 pound baby go under anaesthesia.

So based on the results of the pathology report, we were referred to a pediatric surgeon.

We were able to see the surgeon (Dr. D) yesterday with a last minute appointment. I'm so thankful that we got in yesterday because I feel so much better about everything. Dr. D isn't 100% convinced that doing surgery is the right thing to do at this point. He told me that based on what he has seen on previous cases, he's not certain he agrees with the Spitz Nevus diagnoses. He agrees the biopsy was benign, which is the most important thing at this point, but he wants to wait and see before doing an operation on an almost 19 month old.

We've decided to follow up in 30 days. Dr. D wants to see how Rachel heals. He says kids surprise us sometimes and heal much better than we would think. If it really is a Spitz Nevus, it's going to grow right back. If it was just an abnormal benign growth, it will heal. Since the dermatologist never took any photos, Dr. D feels like we're better off waiting. He wants to make sure she needs surgery before we just go ahead with it this soon. There is no harm in waiting.

Dr. D also expressed extreme frustration with the dermatologist for cutting the growth off of Rachel while she was awake and being held down. He said we should have just been sent straight to him instead of putting Rachel through that. I was surprised because doctors tend to cover the rear ends of their "own kind."

Either way, I feel good about where we stand. I think waiting is the best option all around.

Forgive me for waiting so long to report the results. I started school this week, my dad was in the hospital (he's okay), and the wait for Rachel's results was mommy torture! These issues were not a recipe for a blog entry!

Rachel's surgery

I'll start by saying that I'm so relieved that the growth has been removed from Rachel's ankle. Whatever it was, I'm just glad it's off of her.

I was so nervous yesterday morning. I could barely sleep Sunday night. I got the girls up, fed them breakfast, and then got Rachel ready to go. (My mom and step-dad watched Sophia and Morgan.) Bob went with us to the appointment. The stress began as soon as we got there.

We arrived about 10 minutes before our 9:15am appointment. When I went to check Rachel in, we were told that she doesn't have an appointment. Me.... freaking out....said, "um, yes we do." The clerk quickly said, "well she's not on the schedule today." I was about to go off when I remembered I had tucked the appointment card away in the diaper bag before we left home. I pulled it out and showed her that we DID have an appointment that day. She grabbed the card and asked us to "wait a second."

I was totally fuming! I was there on the date and time that they had told me to be. I had had anxiety for the past week leading up to this appointment. We got a babysitter for our other two and Bob had taken the morning off work. I wasn't going to leave until they removed the stinkin tumor. I didn't care if I had to stay there all day. It was THE day!

I don't know why she wasn't in the computer. Totally their mistake. They ended up, of course, doing the procedure anyway. I think she was on the schedule, just not in their computer system. Who knows......

So they put some numbing creme on Rachel's ankle then covered it and sent us on our way for one hour while the stuff numbed her up. We ended up going to Starbucks for breakfast and to kill some time. It was strange that it was Bob's first time in a restaurant with the any of the girls. He still refuses to take them out to eat anywhere. (Nerd!) I think he had fun playing with Rachel. He kept trying to feed her part of his croissant and she kept tossing it on the floor. I'm sure the Starbucks employees loved that!

We returned to the office and got called back to the surgery room. We ended up having to wait another 30 minutes before the doctor came in to start. Bob held Rachel down while they gave her a shot to finish the numbing job. Rach pretty much started screaming. I think it was more from being held down than it was the shot and the procedure. It lasted all of about 6 or 7 minutes and she was done. Poor thing screamed almost the whole time while I rubbed her head and tried to calm her down. She did really well once it was over. Poor little sweetie. I hate that she had to go through that.

The doctor isn't sure what this growth is. He sent it off to the lab for a diagnoses and biopsy. He doesn't think that it is anything to worry about. We should hear from him in about a week. It's hard not to worry about it. All I can say is that I'm glad it's not on her anymore.

She did really well yesterday and today. The only time she fusses is when I have to clean the area they cut, apply anti-biotic ointment, and re-bandage it, which I am supposed to do once a day. Otherwise, it hasn't slowed her down one bit. She has been taking steps for the last 3 weeks and over the past several days, she's really just walking all over. I was afraid the surgery would send her back to walking on her knees, but it hasn't at all.

I'm really proud of her. She was so exhausted yesterday that she was asleep within 5 minutes of putting her down for a nap.

So now we just wait.....and wait... seems like forever. I hope this week will go by quickly!

Thanks to our friends and family for all the prayers. We definitely feel all the support!

Quick Rachel update

Rachel's surgery went very well today. She was such a trooper and I'm so proud of my little girl. We have to wait about a week for the biopsy results.

I'm exhausted and am going to sleep, but just wanted to post a quick update here. I'll be back with the full story in a day or two.

Thanks to all of our friends for your support and prayers. We are truly blessed.

Our very own park

I'm so excited. The girls have their very own park right in our back yard. My step-brother was getting rid of this structure because his kids have outgrown it. My dad brought it down for the girls last year. We weren't sure we were going to be able to use it this summer. The landscaping in our backyard was not swing set friendly.

My awesome dad came down and worked really hard in our back yard for several days to put this in for the girls. He had to remove a tree that was surrounded by a ton of bricks. Then he and Bob flattened the ground and installed the structure. We're also going to remove the tree behind it, but that won't happen for another few months. Right now, we're just really enjoying this set. There isn't a park anywhere in our area that has three toddler swings! I'm really loving that the girls can all swing at the same time now.

They are full of smiles while swinging. Sophia gets especially excited when I put her shoes on her. She says, "owwwsiighh" over and over again..... (meaning OUTSDE of course... hehehehe.)

Here they are swinging!

Weeeeeeeeee!

Here's my dad admiring his work! Great job Grandpa! The girls LOVE their swingset!

I'm just so happy that we have a safe place to play outside now. No more guilt about not being able to take them to the park! We own the park now. hahahaha....

Rachel is having minor surgery

Rachel has a spot on her ankle. I noticed it a couple of months ago. One of her favorite things to do is to fill a plastic bowl up with toys, mostly little plastic shapes and blocks, and then she kicks it like crazy until the bowl is empty. She will then refill the bowl and do this over and over again. When I first noticed this spot, I thought it was an injury from kicking the bowl so hard. It's like a little blood cyst.

After a couple of weeks when it didn't go away, I took her to her pediatrician. He diagnosed it as a pyogenic granuloma. He decided to try and "burn" the spot off, but advised me that it doesn't always work. He used liquid nitrate. The spot looked like it was going to go away, but then it came right back. We got a referral to a dermatologist to see if he could cut it out.

We saw the dermatologist this past Monday. It's not a pygenic granuloma. He said it is likely a benign tumor. When he said the word "tumor," I think I just froze. Tumor certainly isn't' a word you want to hear about your baby. He's pretty sure that it's just a benign growth. She's having minor surgery on Monday to have it removed. He'll then send it to the lab for a biopsy to be certain that everything is okay. He didn't give us a certain name of this spot. I think he said four or five medical terms as to what it could be. I don't remember any of them because I was still focused on the fact that he said the word tumor. He didn't elaborate on anything. He just said that we'll wait and get the biopsy results, although he believes there is nothing to worry about.

I'm a mom. Rachel is my baby girl. Of course I'm worried. I'm trying hard not to focus on it, but am failing miserably. I have way too many thoughts going through my head. I just have to surrender to God and ask Him to help us get through this.

So we go in on Monday. She will have a shot to numb the area and then we'll wait an hour before they start the procedure. I get to be in the room with her the whole time. She'll be awake for it. It should take about 5 minutes.

I'm just so sad she has to go through this. It breaks my heart.

Is it Monday yet? I'm ready for this to be over with!

Well, hello there asthma.

I've had over five asthma attacks in the past week. It's really strange. I haven't had asthma issues like this since I was a teenager. In fact, I can't recall ever using my inhalor more than once or a twice a year in the last fifteen or so years. A couple of the attacks have been absolutely scary and awful. So awful that I considered telling Bob to call 911 because I just couldn't get enough air. My rescue inhalor just wasn't working. I had to take it 3-4 times before it made even the slightest difference.

Bob ended up working from home yesterday so that I could go see my doctor. I figured it was probably time to get on some type of preventative medication. I was lucky enough to call first thing in the morning and get a same day appointment.

After sitting in the waiting room for 30 minutes past my appointment time, I finally got called back. I had to wait an additional 15 minutes once I was in the exam room. It was so irritating. My doctor was over an hour late to my appointment a few weeks ago.

She finally walks in and says, "I haven't seen you for so long. How are you doing?" I thought to myself... funny since you just saw me three weeks ago when I was having issues with my ankles. Anyway, she asked why I was in to see her. I told her, and without even asking me any questions she said, "it sounds like you are having panic attacks."

Um, excuse me?

She didn't ask me one single question and just assumed panic attacks. What the heck? I said, "um no. No panic attacks here."

So then she says it must be stress. Why do they always assume it's mental? She asked how my job was going and if I was overwhelmed with work. Yeah, we talked three weeks ago about how I am a stay at home mom to triplets and do not work outside the home. Then she acted all surprised that I have triplets even though we had a whole conversation about it last time.

Okay, let me just say that I don't expect her to remember every single patient and their whole life story. But perhaps she can um, I don't know, actually READ my chart before coming in and making all these ridiculous assumptions.

I do admit to being super stressed lately. Rachel's food issues have really upset me. Sometimes, I'm just fine with it and I know she will grow out of it. Other days, I just feel like she's never going to eat anything other than baby food. Also, I've said it before... The girls are at a stage that they need a lot of attention. I'm constantly playing with them or telling them not to eat books or to stop pushing each other off of me when they want me. I'm working with them on sign language and learning words. We're playing patty cake. I'm super busy.

I've also been solo with the girls most days of the week lately. I get so sad that I can't get them out to the park more often or just on outings that allow them to actually get out of the stroller. I'm letting the stress get to me. It's hard not to.

So yes, I will say that the added stress could be the cause of the asthma attacks. It could also be because the air isn't so good where I live. Or... OR.. because I'm eating everything in sight and am at my heaviest weight other than while pregnant. Stress eater anyone?

So after my almost pointless appointment (well not totally pointless since now I will be finding myself a new doctor that reads charts), I was sent on my way with a prescription for a shiny new inhalor that is supposed to help prevent attacks. Boy did I get sticker shock when I picked it up. For a six week supply of the preventative inhalor and a new rescue inhalor, (my other one was expired and that's why it didn't work very well...whoopsie!), it cost me $80. $10 was the rescue inhalor and the other $70 was for the preventative that turns out....is NOT covered by my insurance.

Nice!

There's a new $80 bill every six weeks that we can add to our budget now.

How's that for a panic attack?

Therapy update

So after last week's "Rachel food high," I was shot straight down from it on Friday morning during her food/eating therapy session. I don't think the therapist is a good fit for us, but I think we're stuck with her unless we want to pay more for someone else who isn't covered by our insurance.

When we got there, her first comment was about how small she thinks Rachel is and asked when her last weight check was. Of course it was before our last session, and she should be able to see that in Rachel's medical record that was right in front of her. She kept asking me what I feed her and how much milk she is drinking. Is she drinking out of a regular cup yet? Um WHAT? Isn't the therapist the same person who told me to keep Rach on bottles until she eats better since we don't want her to lose out on her milk consumption??? She told me to start feeding her more of the foods she likes. DUH... I've been doing that. I was also told to start using pediasure to add calories to her milk and to give her more food. Um yeah, what am I supposed to do??? Shove it down her throat? Last time I checked, "Miss Therapist" was not a pediatrician. I don't know. It's hard to explain. This session just upset me. I felt like I was being judged as a mother because Rachel is on the small side and I haven't had 30 minutes PER MEAL to work with her. I do the best I can. She is making improvements. I felt like our therapist just doesn't realize that I am alone for 95% of the girls' meals and I don't have an entire 30 minutes per meal to devote to Rachel every single day. Especially when I'm seeing Rach eat more foods and make improvements.

So I ended up leaving the pointless appointment practically in tears and headed to the over priced baby/toddler specialty shop and spent almost $40 on 3 suction toddler bowls that are supposed to be the best ones out there and some regular cups because I'm a horrible mother if I don't buy exactly what I'm told. Yeah....ridiculous. I would return them except these bowls are actually really awesome.

Since it's been a few days, I'm starting to calm down. I was so angry all day Friday about how the session went. It didn't feel helpful at all. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue these appointments. I'm not sure they are 100% needed. I could probably do a lot of the exercises on my own with the help of my friends who's toddlers have been through this.

Who knows....it's just something to think about.