No wonder I drink wine at night....

Okay, so I don't drink wine every night. But let me tell you, there are days when I absolutely do open a bottle!

Over the past month or so, Bob and I noticed that Rachel seems to soak her diaper up about two times faster than Sophia and Morgan. She also drinks more juice and milk than they do. It's not unusual for her to finish her sippy of juice and then go looking to steal one of her sister's. She will often finish theirs once they've put it down for a moment. 

I didn't really think anything of this until a friend of mine was talking about the symptoms of type 1 diabetes because her daughter has it. Frequent urination and thirst were just a couple of the symptoms that caught my attention. Bob's brother has diabetes and was diagnosed when he was 3 years old. So knowing that it's in our family and then learning some of the early signs, we decided to have Rachel screened for it. Her pediatrician agreed, but also wasn't very worried about it since children with diabetes tend to have a big appetite, and we all know Rachel does not! 

So yesterday was the day for the test. It was supposed to be a simple urine test. It turned out to be anything but simple. Imagine collecting a urine sample from an active toddler still in diapers! They have these toddler urine collection bags that stick onto them under their diaper. It's supposed to catch all the pee pee!

I decided that since my sister was coming over to help me yesterday morning, I'd go ahead and attach a bag to Rachel and take it in while my sister watched the girls. That plan failed because when I went to remove the bag, it had leaked out all over her diaper. I decided to put another bag on her and then load everyone up in the van while giving them juice sippy cups to drink. I figured Rachel would pee again by the time we got to the lab. My plan was to have my sister sit in the van with the girls while I ran the um, sample, inside. I didn't want to just take Rachel alone with me because I didn't want to have to deal with strollers or carrying them and such.

Rachel downed about 10 ounces of juice by the time we took the ten minute drive to the lab, but she still hadn't gone pee. I decided to make a Starbucks run while we waited, so off we went. At least another 20 minutes went by.......and Rachel was still dry. I picked up more juice while I was at Starbucks, so the girls were drinking a lot. Sophia and Morgan both needed their diapers changed....but not Rachel! We sat around in the parking lot at the lab just waiting, and waiting.....and waiting. 11:30 starts to roll around and the girls were getting hungry. I didn't plan the morning well at all. I thought we'd for sure be home in time for lunch. I didn't have any food for the girls other than some bunny graham crackers. So off we went to the nearest drive thru and picked up some very healthy nuggets and fries. Oh and milk. At least milk is healthy! Rachel only ate the crackers. I felt bad, but she loves those crackers and was a happy camper.

I can't say the same for me. I tend to get all freaked out when we are off schedule, and we were certainly off schedule. I was winging it for sure. I couldn't believe that it had turned into such an ordeal just to get a urine sample. Rachel simply would not pee!

I knew the lab closed at 1pm for lunch. By about 12:15, I got into desperate mode. We had made it so far, and I wasn't about to give up. I was out of juice and almost out of my sanity.......We took one last little trip to a grocery store to get some more to drink and to pick up some "Rachel approved" food. It was all pretty much pointless though. We got back over to the lab about 10 minutes before 1pm and Rachel still was dry as can be. She probably drank over 18 ounces of juice and water too. I decided to just give up. I went into the lab and picked up a couple more urine bags so that I could keep trying.  I figured that if I actually got anything that day, I'd just run it back over to the lab after the girls' nap. They were all in serious meltdown mode anyway since they are usually in bed by 12:30 every afternoon. It was so frustrating.

Wouldn't you know that Rachel peed on the way home, but most of that leaked out too! UGH! I ended up putting yet another bag on her  (this time attached it WAY too far up her poor little behind) and sending her to bed like that. I was determined for it not to leak. When she woke up from nap, I finally got a good enough sample to take in. I learned a good lesson. Only put one of these things on an active toddler when they are going to be SLEEPING! My sister had gone home when the girls went down for nap, so I was on my own getting this sample back to the lab.

It was just one of those crazy days where I felt so stressed out just trying to get this done. When you add three toddlers to the mix, it's never simple! At least the lab techs got a good laugh at/with me. I came in pushing this giant stroller, three toddlers, and holding a bag of pee! The girls looked like hot little messes too. I was in such a hurry to get out of the house that I didn't bother to brush their bed head hair and none of them had shoes. We looked a little bit ghetto. lol.....

It was all worth it. About an hour after we got back home, I got an email from Rachel's doctor. The test for diabetes came back negative! She's as healthy as can be! I'm glad we went through the trouble of getting her tested though. Now I can breathe a little easier and I don't have to worry about why she soaks her diapers so quickly. I think she drinks a lot because the girl doesn't like food!

So yeah..... It was a definitely a wine day!

Letting go....

Almost 3 years ago, I received an email one morning from a long time friend. K was my best friend from the age of about 14 on.

When I read the email, I was in shock. She said we had grown apart and that she thought we should part ways as friends. 

I had known that things weren't the same with us anymore. We were both newlyweds and starting new chapters of our lives. I knew something was off, but just figured that because our lives were changing, we'd get through whatever rocky time it was. She was like a sister to me. I truly considered her family. Even if we did grow apart, the thought of not being in each other's lives never crossed my mind.  

I thought it would be temporary. Maybe she'd change her mind and I'd hear from her. News of my triplet pregnancy even went her way, but I still heard nothing. A couple of months after the girls were born, I tried to reconnect. I got no response. I've tried to connect with her several times over the past couple of years, but again, no response. 

It's been really difficult for me to let go. Wondering why K did this has made me doubt myself and doubt the kind of friend I am. It's actually killed some of the confidence I once had. It made me question if the friendship I had with her was even real. It has made me weary about building new friendships. It's crazy how much I have let this affect who I am over the past few years.

I'm finally at the point of being tired of feeling this way. Why have I let this affect me so much? Why have I given this one person control like this? I miss her, but it's just not worth it to me anymore.

It's time to move on. Starting right now.

Parking Lot Pumpkin Patch

The girls had their first trip to the pumpkin patch today. Well, okay not a "real" pumpkin patch. It was more like an unpaved parking lot with pumpkins in it. There are a couple of really great (or so I hear) pumpkin farms both within about 45-60 minutes from us, but since the girls wouldn't know the difference right now, I decided to save that trip for next year. They ended up having a blast. My mom and niece came with me, so we were able to let the girls out of their choo choo wagon to play. They ran around all over the place and had so much fun. 

Here are a few pics from our afternoon.........

Sophia and Morgan

Sophia

Sophia, Tiana, and Morgan

Silly Morgan thinking she could lift that big pumpkin!

Morgan

Rachel

Rachel ran almost the whole time!

Sophia is reaching for a pumpkin. Too cute!

I was so happy that we stayed so close to home. The girls were just so excited to run around outside and to see all the pumpkins, they wouldn't have cared if we were at a fancy farm or not. They lasted about 20 minutes before the cold wind picked up and it was time to go. I absolutely adored watching them light up while they were exploring. We brought three little pumpkins home with us. One for each of them. But then of course, Sophia thought they were all for her! Silly girl!

Overall, totally fun afternoon. I think we're going to have a really fun holiday season!

So much going on..

There has been so much going on lately that I don't even know where to begin. First, I wanted to show off my cuties. Let's see....... The girls started therapy, we got two bathrooms upstairs tiled, I just got back from another mothers of multiples convention weekend, we sold the girls' high chairs and moved them to booster seats..... Um.. The list could go on and on. So that's my explanation of why I haven't had much time to blog lately.

So......

The girls ended up qualifying for LOTS of therapy. To sum it up, they are all getting occupational therapy for their fine motor skills and to learn things like, eating with a fork and spoon, brushing their teeth, washing their face etc. They are also all getting speech therapy. Then on top of all of that, a speech therapist who specializes in food issues for babies who were preemies is coming in to help all three of them eat better. Rachel needs the most help, but Morgan and Sophia need help too. They have been eating the same foods for months and will not eat anything new. Morgan and Rachel are going to get some physical therapy as well. Morgan is pigeon toed and Rachel is still a very choppy walker. Right now, we have two therapy sessions a week with two therapists here at the same time. Next week, we will have three sessions because it will be our first with the physical therapist. We've been doing the occupational and speech therapy for two weeks now. It's taking a bit longer for the food and physical therapists to get here because our case has to be approved and budgeted for, which won't be a problem, it's just going to take up to 30 days. 

I have to admit that I was surprised that the girls need so much. Yes, I knew we were behind. I just didn't realize how far. They scored very low in speech and communication. Rachel's receptive language was "masters 3-6 month skills" and showing signs of 9-18 month skills. Sophia and Morgan were just a bit higher in that they "master 9-12 month skills" with signs of emerging 12-18 month skills. In most other areas of speech, they scored in the 12 month range. I thought that because I made it to 35 weeks in my pregnancy, we wouldn't have any issues with development. However, the therapists keep reminding me that even though I made it quite far, Rachel was only 3 pounds at birth and Sophia and Morgan were not much bigger at 4 and 5 pounds. They were a lot smaller than most babies born at 35 weeks. Even multiples. 

It's been difficult for me to see or hear about other toddlers the girls' age. I'm human and compare my kids to other kids constantly. I worry that we'll never fully catch up and wonder why my girls don't do "such and such" like other kids do. The hardest part is hearing what good eaters other kids are, or that they are pointing to their belly button or whatever, or GASP... peeing on the potty already. I've literally had to tell myself to STOP IT!!! The fact of the matter is that all kids are different. My girls are likely doing things that other kids aren't doing. I think it's just human nature to be envious or to make comparisons. I just can't let myself get upset over it. I have to focus on the positives! I've been doing the best I can with my cuties, and I'm just happy that we're getting help now. After just two weeks, I've already noticed progress! 

So much more to talk about it, but like usual.....I've run out of time! Will try and post more often!

When Mommy's away....

Bob posted this picture on his Facebook page last weekend. I was working all day at the clothing and equipment sale for my multiples group, so he was on triple toddler duty. This pic cracks me up. The room is a mess, Rachel doesn't have any pants, they are still in their jammies, and Morgan's hair is in desperate need of a brush and a pony tail. You can see Sophia's legs in the background. Oh well, at least they were all alive when I came home! 

I'm a drop out again....

Five months ago when I signed up for two classes at school, I was in a place where I thought I could do it all. My days seemed calmer back then. During their naps, I would eat lunch, read, play on the internet, prepare something for dinner or whatever. I just wasn't as stressed as I am now.

Now at 20 months old, the girls are exhausting me again. It's a very exciting and fun stage that they are in, it's just a challenge for me every day. By 12:30pm when it's time for nap, I'm completely wiped out. I usually end up eating something for lunch and then taking a nap. If I don't take a nap, I pass out and die. The end.  hahahaha....

Back in May, I thought I'd have the time and energy to do school work during nap time or at night... or on weekends. Turns out...It's just more than I can handle right now.

The solution? I'm halfway through this semester. My Human Development class isn't difficult at all. I'd actually call that class easy. I'm going to finish it for sure. However, my Anthropology class is kicking my butt and leaving me with bruises and a bad taste in my mouth. I bombed the first test with an awesome 65% . Let's face it. I don't have ten hours a week to read 60 pages and memorize things that I don't even agree with. Seriously, the book is telling me I came from monkeys! No joke! So I dropped that class. And I'm out...word to yo mutha.

So that's not all. After the girls went to bed tonight and I sat down and worked on the Hum. Dev. class for an hour, I decided I'm not going to school next semester. This wasn't the right time to try and finish. I'm not in a rush to go back to work at all, so why am I kicking my own butt trying to do this now?! There just simply isn't a reason for me to stress myself out over this. Bob and I have never planned on me going back to work until the girls are well into elementary school or possibly later anyway. There's plenty of time for me to finish later.

I'm a little sad that I couldn't just stick this out, but my girls come first! They don't need a mommy who is always tired, busy, and stressed! So until the girls are 4 or 5 years old, I'm just a student of the mommyhood. Not the collegehood! And I'm okay with that!

Rachel update

We had the follow up appointment with Rachel's pediatric surgeon today. He confirmed what I thought. The tumor is growing back. Not only is it growing back, it is also not healing normally from when it was cut off and biopsied by the dermatologist. Dr. D now agrees that it is a "Spitz Nevus" and that we do need to go in and do a more invasive procedure to remove it 110%. The thing about these growths is that if they are not fully removed, they grow back. When they do grow back, they can be harder to biopsy. They can show possible malignant behavior without truly being malignant. Because of this, it can sometimes lead to treatments that are questionable. We don't want to get to that point.

It's confusing. Right now, the plan is to see Dr. D again on December 1st and plan the surgery for sometime between Dec-Feb depending on how the growth is doing. Dr. D wants it to heal just a bit more before he does anything. If he were to remove it all right now after just having done the original biopsy a month ago, the tissues will be too irritated to be able to biopsy the current growth. It's hard for me to explain. I really trust Dr. D's opinion and knowledge on this. He's operated on these types of growths numerous times and knows what he's doing. I really do feel at ease with him.

So that's where we are. I have had a pit in my stomach all day thinking about the day she will have to do the surgery. I'm really not comfortable with the fact that she has to be put under anesthesia. At least she is up to 24 pounds and 1 ounce! That's really good for her!

It's going to be an outpatient surgery. I can be with her when she is waking up. I'm going to need a lot of prayers and comfort while they have her in surgery. Just thinking about it now makes me feel so uneasy. The only thing that made me chuckle was that Dr. D told me how they start to administer the meds to put her to sleep. She will have to drink some tylenol that has sedatives in it. All I can say is good luck getting her to drink that. It's not going to be a fun day at all. I'm going to try to just put this at the back of my mind for now. We're just going to have to wait until her follow up appointment in 2 months and see when she will be scheduled. So surgery is definitely needed, it's just a matter of when. Ugh!